Kumite Means More
The Fight No One Sees.
Kumite means “grappling hands.” The meeting of hands. Most people picture two athletes on a mat.
But every one of us is fighting something. A diagnosis. A loss. A habit we are trying to break. A voice that says we are not enough. Most of those fights happen where nobody is watching.
This is where we talk about them.
The first fight
Mental.
Fear, anxiety, burnout, imposter syndrome. The battles that happen between your ears, long before anyone else knows.
#321 hr 9 minGabby Best
Victim Mindset To Victor Mindset
#311 hr 10 minVerna Darger
Jiu-Jitsu, Beating Imposter Syndrome & Thailand
#681 hr 22 minKamran Madani
Pan Am Gold, Burnout & Building Champions
#3845 minLauren Barone
Jiu-Jitsu, Fear & Building a Pro Grappling Team
#10657 minCharlie Wissman
"Who Cares, Be You"
The second fight
Physical.
Injury, illness, surgery, starting late, coming back. When the body becomes the opponent, and you show up anyway.
The third fight
Life & Social.
Being bullied. Coming home from service. Holding a family together. The weight you carry into every room.
#331 hr 13 minZac Cunningham
From Bullied Teen to Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Instructor
#481 hr 10 minRyan Brinkman
From a Street Fight to Running a Gracie Academy
#11153 minRichard Nguyen
Military Service, Isshinryu & Coming Home
#661 hr 1 minStephen Gallagher
Loyalty, Setbacks & Coming Back Stronger
#10758 minDena Gray
Holding A Dojo And A Family Together
The inner work
Read.
Honest writing about what training does for your head, and what it doesn’t. For the person reading this at 2am.
- Read
8 min
Training With Anxiety
Walking into a gym is genuinely hard for a lot of people, and the usual advice ignores that. What helps on the first day, what to tell a coach, and what training is and is not.
- Read
7 min
The Quiet Confidence Training Builds
People expect martial arts to make them bolder. It usually makes them calmer instead. What changes, why it takes about six months, and why the loudest person in the gym is rarely the best.
- Read
6 min
How to Lose Well
The real skill a combat gym teaches is losing — repeatedly, in front of people, without it meaning anything about you. It is also the skill that transfers furthest off the mat.
- Read
7 min
Burnout, and Knowing When to Rest
The gym rewards showing up, which makes it very bad at telling you to stop. How to tell tired from burnt out, and why the people who train for thirty years all take time off.
- Read
7 min
Where Discipline Actually Comes From
Not willpower, not motivation, and not shouting at yourself. Discipline is built out of much smaller and less dramatic parts — and training happens to assemble them for you.
Every person has a story
We Want to Hear Yours.
What are you fighting? What did you overcome? Write it down and send it to us. It goes straight to Nicholas, and it stays private.
Training helps a lot of people, and it is not treatment. If you are struggling, talk to a doctor, a therapist, or your local crisis line. If you are in danger right now, call your local emergency number.